*sips wine/tea*. You're the reason God created the middle finger. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Totally fine! Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. The answer is simple. I cant really complain, but I will still try. I will leave that up to your imagination. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Yup, I dont share it. 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. What to say when your crush asks how you are? Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Have you met food? 94. But, they will grow up into a dog. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. 78. I just adore my own company. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. - Anonymous. Now you can be! [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Alive Jokes. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? 9. 82. 1. 4. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Why some QAnon believers think JFK Jr is still alive - and about to Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. How do you usually respond to the question? What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. 55. 86. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . 5. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? The best GIFs are on GIPHY. 101. This one is a bit long. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? My grandfather had a ton of these. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". Get your own life first before you try sharing it. Congratulations, sir. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. I'm afraid I can't do that. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. 2. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. Financially? If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. 13. Mentally? 93. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Learn more about us here. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. "Yeah, you're three years late. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Have you been thinking? I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. Because Jamaican me crazy! . [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. It could always have been worse. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. 64. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! I have been going through GOT in my work life. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! I was actually talking to my friend". If I had a tail, I'd wag it. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. 77. Are those space pants? But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. I repeat I am plural! I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Pick your struggle. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? 65. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . 55+ Coronavirus Memes Funny Coronavirus Memes - Parade: Entertainment In fact, theyre taking too much of it. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Canva. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. 96. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com Because if you are, youre doing it right. At least my hair looks amazing. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy Ive had worse. The police? Stop asking me why Im single! You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Spiritually? It can be good to just say it how it is. Stupidity isnt a crime. Youre not as bad as everyone says. 3. 73. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? This is a good response to throw out there. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Dont wake me up yet. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." You might just find one. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. I'm alive! 11. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. 63. If I had a tail, I would wag it! I havent met the right one yet. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Hopefully, youll stay there. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Dave Barry (author). I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. WHY!? If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. 43. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". Youll never be even half the man your mother is. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. 7. I'm happy! Stop joking! I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. 76. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. 75. Im always there when I need me. Were already married, remember?! Are you alive? - Random Answers - Fanpop document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. - Anonymous. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Most of the time, that is not true. I plead the fifth. I dont know. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. 80. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal (perfect for vegans). 100. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. A little bit worse now that youve asked. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. You a cop? If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Do you really care? Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Not. Did someone leave your cage open? 26. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. 13. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! 1. 20. Could be better, though. Are you serious? My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. 3. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. But Ive also had better. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. For more information, please see our The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. I cant even afford to feed myself! I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Still with us. Living an amazing dream. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Thank you, it made my day. 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! There are nosy people everywhere! So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! The only thing offending me right now is your face. Could have been worse, right. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. 59. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. Thats why Im single. This does not seem right. How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily WHAT DID THEY SAY?? 35 Auto Reply Text Message Ideas: Funny, Professional, Effective He will be missed. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Sounds like effort to me. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. 1. Was that comment meant to offend me? I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Living the dream! Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! He sold it to me on his deathbed. As for me, I cant even afford honey! So much better than most people. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Liked what you just read? 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. [*clap your hands*]. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Oh, stop it, will you? This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once 19. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . You'll love these 67+ Sarcastic Instagram Captions for couples, friends Is that a scar on your face? 14. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. How do you want me to be? Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Life is up to something. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. Heart-shattering. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Whats with all these questions? I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. No, keep talking. Because youre highly qualified. but it's just so blunt and funny. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines Plotting how Im going to take over the world. 2. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" That's impossible. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. 31. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Could be payday. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Brilliant! 87. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! My guardian angel be like 2. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." 3. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. It lets him know that you love spending time together. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. . June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. 67. Funny and Clever Quotes About Mortality, Death, and Dying Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. 58. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Hanging by a thread. The hottest single of the year is me. 4. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. 10. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. How did you get here? Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). They might even steal it to use in the future. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? 57. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Youre totally on the same page. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Oh, well 8. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. 4. Hey, whered you get that nose? Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? You may join me, though. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? Its going great, really! I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money.